step 1: spend $800k on dogwifhat's actual pink beanie at auction
step 2: go on biggest stream of the year
step 3: forget to mention your product
step 4: get roasted by entire crypto twitter
step 5: ?????
step 6: definitely not profit
the trenchers™
our community name that nobody asked for.
we call ourselves the fastest growing launchpad.
fastest to what? speedrunning controversies apparently.
shoutout to the 3 real people still holding 💀
our track record
launched 47 tokens, 46 rugged, 1 pending.
"$10M market cap prize" that nobody won.
claimed to help nyan cat creator make $400k (citation needed).
somehow convinced ourselves buying an $800k hat was smart.
bags_priorities.txt
priority 1: buy overpriced dog accessories
priority 2: donate to charity (good!) but forget to promote (bad!)
priority 3: go on streams with controversial figures
priority 4: get accused of rug pulls
priority 999: actually helping our users make money
priority 1000: responding to community concerns
note: maybe we should reconsider our priorities?
what_people_think_we_are.log
"fastest growing launchpad" - us
"fastest rug pull platform" - crypto twitter
"guys who spent $800k on a hat" - everyone
"that ceo who fumbled the adin stream" - trenchers
"actually pretty innovative app tho" - fair people
"chaotic energy embodied" - observers
"please fire your marketing team" - literally everyone